Sting Pictures

I can’t believe it’s already Thursday this week. With only a week left until I’m in Nashville, TN for the Beachbody Coaches Summit, I’ve stayed on top of my diet this week. I got workouts in on Monday and Wednesday, and plan to get one in tonight and tomorrow. Tuesday night I took the time to go sit with a friend and sign her up as a discount coach since she’s loving Shakeology so much.

Now to the title of the blog post… There is always perception vs reality. You experience it every day. In situations where you think your tone is kind and compassionate but the receiving person thinks your being a total ass. There is also the perception you have of yourself when you look in the mirror and the reality of what it is you’re not seeing.

Last year I lost 25lbs doing T25 and Weight Watchers. I felt AMAZING! I went from 220 to 195 and thought I was the shit. I transferred to a new position at work, wasn’t walking as far to get around places in my building (it’s 30 steps round trip to the bathroom for me), and spent most of my days sitting bored…. leads to eating… leads to 10lbs back on. I’ve struggled since January to take the 10lbs (+ some) off. I do believe, when you lose a lot of weight and you see those changes in your face and body (I was able to get out of maternity pants 14 months after having my son! Yes, I was the shit!), you see a new “slimmer” version of yourself and it’s easy to get stuck in the newer you. 195 is far from my goal weight. I looked at myself and saw a “much better than before” version and clung to it. I was successful. I lost 15-25 lbs and I looked good.

Then around May-ish I started seeing myself differently again. I saw the reality of the 10lbs added back on (back to 205), I felt the sluggishness settling in. It’s not that I wasn’t working out, I was… but I my eating was not. No one knows I drove through Dunkin Donuts and bought 1-2 donuts alongside my blueberry coffee. If no one but me (and the DD workers) see the bag, then NO ONE knows I ate 2 donuts… as a snack… and then bought pudding as a dessert with my lunch. All the while telling myself, “I’ll eat better tomorrow. I was dying for a sweet treat and needed this.” Yet, tomorrow came and someone brought in bagels and cream cheese to work — and put them in the kitchen across from my office. Ah, the smelly goodness of fresh bagels. Just one, and then tomorrow I’ll jump right back on.

And then there are the Sting Pictures — I don’t mean sting like a bee or the musician… You know, the ones where you see yourself and go “Oh my god… What? Who is that?” and not in a good way. My inner “gremlin” wants to kick my mentality down, but I’m working to rise past the gremlin and not shove bagels and candy bars down my throat and wonder what’s going on.

It’s on me to change the image I see reflecting back at me. I’m the one who puts my hand to my mouth, no one else. If I look closely, I often find I’m a pretty good enabler of “let’s get ice cream!” and “I deserve a treat for working out 2-3 days this week!”

Focus is key.

It’s time to focus.